Learning to Speak the Language of Your Nervous System
by Sadaf Naji
For the longest time, I thought my body was just there — something I could push through when stressed, ignore when tired, or force to perform when overwhelmed. It wasn’t until I started exploring nervous system regulation that I realized my body had been talking to me all along — I just didn’t know how to listen.
Our nervous system has its own language, and it speaks in sensations. You’ve probably felt it yourself: that tightness in your chest before a big conversation, the tingling in your hands after a stressful day, or the warmth spreading through your body when you’re safe and relaxed. Maybe, like me, you tried to push past those sensations, labeling them as "good" or "bad," or hoping they’d disappear. But I’ve learned that by turning toward these signals, we can start building a compassionate relationship with our bodies—one that helps us feel more grounded and present.
Here are some tips:
Building Curiosity Instead of Judgment
At first, tracking sensations felt strange. I wasn’t used to sitting with discomfort without trying to fix it. But I began to experiment: pausing throughout the day to notice what was happening in my body, without needing to label it.
Some days, I’d catch my shoulders creeping up toward my ears. Other times, there was a pit in my stomach, or I noticed my hands fidgeting without me realizing it. Instead of judging these sensations as "wrong" or trying to make them go away, I asked myself: What’s here right now?
It wasn’t easy at first — I kept wanting to fix or figure things out. But slowly, I noticed that when I stayed curious, my body softened. It was like my nervous system was saying, "Finally, you’re listening."
Finding Your Window of Tolerance
Through this practice, I also discovered the concept of the Window of Tolerance—the range where we feel balanced and connected to ourselves. When we’re inside this window, we feel grounded and present, able to respond to life’s ups and downs. But when we’re pushed outside of it, our nervous system can go into hyperarousal (anxiety, racing thoughts) or hypoarousal (numbness, shutdown).
Once I learned this, everything started to click. I noticed how easy it was for me to jump into anxiety when my schedule was packed or sink into numbness when I felt overwhelmed. Now, I pay more attention to where I am throughout the day. If I find myself outside my window, I use small practices—like slow, intentional breathing or feeling the ground beneath my feet—to gently guide myself back.
Turning Toward Discomfort with Compassion
The hardest part of this journey has been learning to stay with uncomfortable sensations instead of running from them. When tension builds in my jaw or restlessness spreads through my body, my first instinct is still to distract myself or “fix” it. But I’ve been practicing turning toward these signals with kindness instead.
Placing a hand on the area where I feel the discomfort helps me connect. Sometimes I ask myself: What do you need right now? Other times, I just breathe and say: "I’m here with you."
Even if the sensation doesn’t go away, staying with it builds trust between me and my nervous system. It’s like telling my body, "I’m listening, and you don’t need to shout to get my attention."
This practice isn’t about getting it "right" or making uncomfortable sensations disappear. It’s about learning how our nervous system communicates and responding with compassion instead of control. It takes time — and lots of patience — but over time, it becomes easier to recognize the patterns and rhythms of your body.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of stress or numbness, you’re not alone. Learning to speak the language of your nervous system is like learning any new language — it takes practice, but with time, it creates space for deeper awareness, regulation, and connection. And perhaps, most importantly, it invites us to treat ourselves with kindness in moments when we need it the most.
So next time you notice your body is sending you signals. Pause and listen — without judgment or a need to fix. Your nervous system is always communicating. The question is, are you ready to listen?
Meet Sadaf
Sadaf is a licensed Counsellor, Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner, and Certified Breathwork Facilitator who guides clients to find a healthy connection to themselves and have compassion, so they can know themselves as peaceful, whole and safe.
