From Resolutions to Intentions: Honoring the Roots of Lasting Change
by Sadaf Naji
As we welcome a new year, the air often fills with a collective sense of hope and renewal. Many of us set resolutions, envisioning dramatic transformations in our lives. Perhaps this will be the year we finally stick to a fitness routine, maintain healthier boundaries, or chase a long-forgotten dream. Yet, as weeks turn into months, these resolutions often slip away, leaving us wondering why it’s so hard to sustain change.
The truth is, lasting change doesn’t come from willpower alone. Beneath the surface of our behaviors lie layers of stored emotions and patterns shaped by past experiences. Trauma, whether from significant events or subtle, repeated experiences, doesn’t just reside in our memories; it’s stored in the body, influencing how we think, feel, and act. These imprints can keep us tethered to habits that no longer serve us, even when we deeply desire change.
Why Resolutions Often Shift Away
When we set lofty resolutions, we’re often trying to override these deeply ingrained patterns without first understanding them. For example, the drive to overwork or constantly seek validation might be rooted in a history of experiencing unworthiness. Emotional eating might stem from a need for comfort that wasn’t met in childhood. These habits are not simply “bad” behaviors; they’re coping mechanisms that once helped us survive.
Without addressing the root cause, we can find ourselves in a cycle of frustration. We’re asking ourselves to abandon something that’s been protective, without offering an alternative source of safety or support. This can make it challenging to sustain our efforts.
Bringing the Unconscious to Conscious
The key to creating lasting change lies in curiosity and compassion. Rather than shaming ourselves for the habits we want to change, we can gently explore their origins. What emotions or unmet needs might they be tied to? How do they serve us, even in ways we might not like to admit?
When we bring these unconscious patterns into conscious awareness, we can begin to make intentional choices. This process isn’t about fixing anything but about understanding and honoring the ways our bodies and minds have tried to protect us. It’s about making space for new possibilities without forcing ourselves into rigid expectations.
Celebrating Incremental Shifts
Instead of setting unattainable goals, consider taking small, intentional steps toward change. These shifts might seem minor, but they have a cumulative effect. Each time we choose to pause and reflect, to try something new, or to honor our needs, we’re rewiring our patterns and creating new pathways for growth.
For example:
Rather than vowing to exercise daily, commit to moving your body in ways that feel good—whether it’s a short walk, gentle stretching, or dancing to your favorite song.
Instead of eliminating emotional eating, practice noticing when it happens and asking yourself what you truly need in that moment.
Rather than setting rigid boundaries overnight, start by identifying one small “no” you can say this week and notice how it feels in your body.
These shifts might not feel dramatic, but they’re empowering. They honor where you are and create a foundation for sustainable change.
A New Kind of Resolution
As you step into this new year, I invite you to trade resolutions for intentions. Instead of focusing on what you need to fix, focus on what you want to nurture. Celebrate the small steps and the incremental shifts. Recognize the courage it takes to meet yourself with honesty and compassion.
Change doesn’t have to be about striving. It can be about softening, about making space for a different possibility. And when you honor the roots of your patterns, you’ll find that true transformation isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about coming home to yourself.
Meet Sadaf
Sadaf is a licensed Counsellor, Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner, and Certified Breathwork Facilitator who guides you to find a healthy connection to yourself and find compassion, so you can know yourself as peaceful, whole and safe.
